When I ask myself, “why are you putting yourself out there again?” I’m reminded of my last interview. “What do you want to gain in your next job?” My answer was “fulfilment”. Kind of naive, but it’s true. I want to wake up and go to work every morning knowing that my work is a cog that fits and works towards the organisational goal. That I’m doing something that has purpose and that helps our clients reach their goals.

Am I looking for personal fulfilment now? If I could pinpoint exactly how I’m feeling, it would be like someone who tries sweet for the first time, and for the next year or so has rationed sweets everyday. And one day, all sugar is cut off. What did you taste before sweet? How did you even manage before that?

Heartbreak is actually fucking shit if you ask me. Worse when you find them on tinder 6 days later. From an old colleague. And now I’m writing a bloody text post on my tumblr from my high school years from 6 years’ ago.